


Burned Away (With A Spark)

by ThatAloneOne



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Emotional Abuse, Episode Tag: 2x15 Exodus, F/M, I Write Mon El Off The Show, Kara Doesn't Deserve This, Kara takes Mon El flying, Mon-El Gets Lead Poisoning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 05:17:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10181501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatAloneOne/pseuds/ThatAloneOne
Summary: Kara was still gaping at the river, trying to find her phone in the depths. Maybe she could rescue it—She frowned. The water was dense to her X-Ray vision. Too dense. Kara should have been able to see something, rocks, trash on the bottom.It was just like the people.Everything clicked just as Mon-El coughed, a wet, rasping noise. Kara turned back to him to see him crouched half over, his arms braced on his knees. He looked confused, staring down at his hands. There were tiny welts on them, and growing. On his lips.He coughed again, and this time his hand came away bloody.





	

“You said you’d take me flying,” Mon-El said, and the twist of his face Kara knew meant he was thinking bitterly about the difference in their powers. On Daxam, he’d been high status enough to command a ship whenever he decided he wanted to see the world. Here? He was stuck in one city. Kara wasn’t, and he didn’t like that. “Today, Kara. Aren’t I important?”

Kara stared at her blinking cursor, hating herself. She wanted to write an article,  _something_. There was still so much happening in National City that she could fix with a well placed word. Supergirl could only do so much, physically halting crime. Kara Danvers was the one who could — who  _needed_  to make a real difference.

“ _Kara_ ,” Mon-El said again, exasperated, and moved to sit beside her, leaning in close enough that she couldn’t figure out if he expected to kiss her again or not. “Come on.” He sent a disparaging look at the blank screen. “It’s not like you have a deadline.”

She didn’t. Because she was fired. Years of work, gone in a second. Kara could always look for work at other agencies, but being fired from a media giant wouldn’t look good. And all her friends — James, all her coworkers. She’d have to start making relationships all over again. Even thinking about it was exhausting.

“No,” she said, and closed her laptop. Mon-El smiled, the happiness dipped in smugness that was his specialty. Sun trickled through gaps in her curtains, and as ever Kara wondered if he felt the same, sparkling warmth. “You’re right. I should go out and do something.”

“Like flying,” he said, and nodded. Mon-El picked up her hand, squeezing it tight. She could feel the pressure, and it sent her shoulders down from around her ears. Everything on Earth felt so  _light_  — except him. Kara had never really experienced a firm touch that wasn’t a hit before this. She hadn’t realized how much she’d been craving it. “Are you ready?”

Kara pulled herself to her feet, smoothing her hands out on her pencil skirt. Then she sighed, noticing her clothes. “Oh, I have to change.”

Mon-El groaned. The light happiness from a moment before evaporated. “Why? You look hot already.”

Kara stared. “Into my costume? Unless you want ‘Ex-CatCo Employee Is Actually Supergirl, Spotted Flying’ going viral!”

Mon-El’s face lapsed entirely from the smile. “Fine. Go quick, though?”

Kara zipped away before he could say anything else. It only took a second of that crystal-clear superspeed, dust mites hanging in the air, before her costume snapped into place. Even after all this time, it was still in near-perfect condition. Was there a way to thank Winn, after all this time? It had been so long since she’d actually talked to him outside of the DEO operations. Would it be weird?

Kara jolted to a stop in front of her boyfriend, arms akimbo. Mon-El's eyes roamed, and it was a painfully long moment before he caught her eyes. “You ready?”

“You’re the one that was holding us up.” Mon-El wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and Kara settled an arm around his waist. It took a second to adjust her grip securely, his chest moving against her palm. 

“Going up,” Kara said, and rose a little off the ground. She changed her grip again, her fingers splaying along the bones of his ribcage, and blasted out the window. 

The sky welcomed her, still gleaming blue. Kara could see everyone in the buildings below, bent over desks and huddled around tables. CatCo was still buzzing, and the sight of it sent a pang through Kara. She missed it. She missed it already.

Kara looked to Mon-El, deliberately fixing her eyes on something other than her old workplace. But… The wonder she had expected to see in his eyes wasn’t there — just calculation and a small part of boredom. She had thought, after so long, he’d be happy. It wasn’t like anyone else could have taken him on a floating tour. Unless they could. Kara still didn’t know the rest of the alien population of National City — she only ever talked to Mon-El at the bar. He was the only who was like her, after all. 

“This is cool and all, but aren’t we going to go anywhere?” Mon-El shrugged his shoulders a little, and Kara nearly snapped at him to be careful. She could catch him if he managed to wriggle away, but it wouldn’t be pleasant for either of them. “I mean, this is a date, isn’t it?”

Kara was suddenly exhausted, her blank screen hovering behind her eyes. She hadn’t thought it was going to be much more than a quick outing. Mon-El had been right about distractingistract herself for a while, but not for hours. She didn’t have anything prepared, either. She’d have to try harder next time. “I mean- yeah. Where did you want to go?”

He moved again, and Kara’s heart caught. She zoomed into a cloud, so the city wouldn’t see Supergirl dropping a poor man. “Don’t you have an idea of good places to go?”

Places she’d flown with Alex. The Fortress of Solitude, still tainted from Mr. Mxyzptlk’s intrusion. Nothing right. Nothing romantic. Nothing good enough. “No,” she admitted, and clutched him tighter, enough to loosen a hand to brush his hair. “Sorry. Do you want to pick a direction.”

Mon-El just sighed, and Kara winced. “Fine. Whatever. That way?”

He pointed somewhere off to their left, through a rolling bank of nimbostratus. Kara nodded. “Fast? Slow?”

Mon-El scoffed. “Can’t you make any decisions?”

Kara drifted, fixing the correct direction in her mind. She didn’t want to make any more mistakes. Her cheeks flamed.  “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable."

“Fast,” he said, and Kara zoomed. Clouds rippled in and out of view enough that she ducked below that range, closer to the cities than the sky. Mon-El was warm in her arms, even with the whipping wind. It was reassuring. Humans got so cold in the sky — Kara was so worried for them whenever she took them flying. Now that she had Mon-El, she wouldn’t have to do that again. 

A tap against her side, a word in her ear. “Far enough.”

Kara pulled up, hovering over a dull spot of a city, a river winding through the city limits. Something about the set-up of the town looked odd, but Kara couldn’t quite pinpoint it. A much larger city loomed in the distance. Detroit, maybe? Kara didn’t tend to spend much time out this far from National City. 

Mon-El craned his neck, and Kara had to bite her tongue. She wished she could have just swept him up in her arms to carry him properly, but she knew without asking he’d insist on her holding him the way she was now — one arm, off to the side. “Anything look good down there?”

 _For what?_ , Kara wanted to ask, but she didn’t. She squinted, focusing down on the town, doing a quick check for any lonesome, comfortable looking places to set down. Her hair floated into her face, gently pulled in the wind, and for a second she thought that’s what it was. That she wasn’t looking right. 

“Kara?”

“Just a second,” Kara said, and looked closer. People, inside of buildings and out, looked  _wrong_. Kara blinked hard, realized she was using a spectrum of her X-Ray vision, and tuning it better. The people were half blocked off, parts of them gleaming blank. Her heart picked up again, and her blood rushed in her ears loud enough to block off her boyfriend’s irritating rambling. 

Kara drifted down, down, trying to figure it out. There weren’t any military vehicles in the area, no sign of Cadmus moving again, but there was something so wrong with these people. What had happened? 

“Kara!” he shouted, and shoved her. This time, he did manage to escape her grip, and Kara had to dive, losing sight of the city. They ended up hovering less than a half mile up, looking down. “You dropped me!”

Kara hugged him to her chest, tighter than her trembling arms wanted. They still hadn’t figured out how sturdy he was — what if she had killed him? She couldn't do that to him. He couldn’t die because of her. “I’m so sorry. I just-“

“You nearly dropped me in the river!” he shouted, and Kara nodded quickly. “Seriously, Kara, that’s not cool.”

“I know,” Kara said, and drifted down a little more. “There’s something wrong with these people, Mon-El. I have to see what it is." 

He took in a sharp breath, easy to feel with him pressed so close. “Kara, we went flying for me! You can’t just run out on us like this!” 

“Five seconds,” Kara said, and dove. Clouds whipped against her skin, the kind of filmy water she only found up this high. It used to be reassuring, but now it just felt suffocating. She held Mon-El tight, glad again she didn’t have to worry about hurting him. It was so hard to keep track of it, sometimes, and with him she didn’t have to care. 

She plummeted before he could protest any more. They hit the ground gently as she could manage, and she let him stumble away, sputtering. They’d landed by the river, far enough from the town that they wouldn’t be noticed. 

Mon-El flung his arms out, inviting in the grass and the river and the bugs to comment on her atrocious behaviour. “Kara!”

She didn’t look at him, trying to peer across the distance into the town, looking for some sort of sign that would tell her where they were. This is why she never went flying as Supergirl to go strange places. Inevitably, she’d run into a problem like this. “I’m still Supergirl, Mon-El. I need to figure out what’s happening here!”

He slammed her arms back down, staring at her with enough disappointment to sink a ship. “Fine. Just ignore me. Again. It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything.”

Kara crossed her arms across her chest, not sure if she was irritated or hugging herself. “Look, we can do something fun in National City after. Maybe a picnic?”

Mon-El rolled his eyes, side stepping to the side of the brown river. He dropped to his knees, hard enough Kara heard the ground crunch. “Oh, why would I do that? We have lots of water, right here. Why would we go out somewhere when nature provides?” He dipped his cupped hands in the river. “Beautiful, just like you!"

“It could be-“ Kara called, but Mon-El was scooping up water and drinking deep already. She sighed. “Polluted.”

She could hear his half-laugh. “On Daxam, we don’t worry about pollution. We’re strong enough to handle any little bits of chemicals in our systems.”

Kara never wanted to hear about Daxam ever again. For all that her knowledge had been based in prejudice, so much of it was true. Daxamites  _were_  stuck up, and apparently, ignorant of their health. “It’s a whole new planet. Something you might not have encountered before could be in there!”

Mon-El only took another long gulp before standing and wiping his palms off on his jeans. He didn’t seem to care that the knees were now muddy and a little torn from the carelessness of dropping to his knees. Kara’s insides bubbled with frustration. Those had been expensive. “Sure. Earth’s just  _so_  advanced-“

“Alright!” Kara said, and held up a hand. She forced the frustration down, hard as she could. It didn’t have a place here, between them. He was trying his best with where he came from. “Okay. I get it. The water’s  _hopefully_  fine."

Mon-El grinned, smug. Kara shook her head, and bent to pry her phone out of her boot, intending to use the GPS to figure out where she’d landed and if there was any explanation for what she was seeing. Before she could open it, Mon-El snatched it from her hand and tossed it in the river. She gaped. “Hey!”

“This!” He said, waving his arms. “Is a date! You can’t just drop me off in the middle of nowhere — with  _terrible_  tasting water, by the way — and then go on your phone.”

Kara was still gaping at the river, trying to find her phone in the depths. Maybe she could rescue it— 

She frowned. The water was dense to her X-Ray vision.  _Too_  dense. Kara should have been able to see something, rocks, trash on the bottom. 

It was just like the people. 

Everything clicked just as Mon-El coughed, a wet, rasping noise. Kara turned back to him to see him crouched half over, his arms braced on his knees. He looked confused, staring down at his hands. There were tiny welts on them, and growing. On his lips. 

He coughed again, and this time his hand came away bloody. “Kara?”

“Mon-El!” Kara zipped over, steadying him. He was trembling, and it wasn’t the cold, that never bothered him. Kara gathered Mon-El in her arms, ignoring his faint protests at being carried like that, and took off. Water slapped against her face, the wind tearing her hair out of its curls. 

She didn’t know where they were, but she still had the route back to the DEO burned in her mind. Kara pushed every limit, barely stopping enough to stop from crashing through the glass door. 

Everyone stared at her, flying in with a hacking Mon-El in her arms. She couldn't see, couldn’t think. “Alex!”

Alex leaned in through the doorway, and her eyes widened. “Kara? What-“

Kara set Mon-El down on the bed, gently as she could. “We were- a date? I took him flying and I didn’t look where and I think we landed in Flint.” She paused for a breath, Mon-El’s coughs gone deadly silent beneath her. “And he drank the water.”

“Lead,” Alex said, horrified, and everything after that blurred.  

 

* * *

 

Kara lost track of how long it was before Alex grabbed her hand and led her just outside of the medical centre. Her face was nearly as white as Mon-El’s, her hands shaking. “Kara, it isn’t like before. We could remove the bullet. We can’t remove the lead from the water. It’s spreading fast in his system, now. His metabolism-“

“I can’t do this without him!” Kara said, and wished she hadn’t. Alex laid a hand on her shoulder, but it was feather-light compared to the weight of Mon-El. Kara’s eyes burned. “I just- he’s the one I’ve been around, this past few months. I’ve gotten used to that.”

Alex’s hand tightened, still too light to really register. “I know. I’ve been with Maggie a lot, and I need to work out how to balance everything.” Alex let her hand rest for another moment, and after a while, Kara could feel comfort from it, even if it wasn’t Mon-El. "You do too, Kara. I know it’s hard, but you haven’t really spent time with anyone else.”

Kara shrugged the hand away. “Is this really the time?”

Alex looked at her, and even though Kara knew that Alex had never liked Mon-El, there were tears in her eyes. For Kara. “I’m sorry. We should… head back in. We don’t know how long it’ll be. I know I can keep him alive… but Kara, stasis isn’t a forever solution.”

Kara wished she could scream. Wished she could fly back to the Fortress and have it be a slice of home again, not a memory of the countdown and her uncle’s statue trying to smash her into the ground. Instead, she stood, her legs steadier than she thought they would be, and followed Alex back into the medical centre. 

It felt like it had been much longer than it had. Kara knew it hadn’t been more than twenty minutes since she’d flown back in, but time was nothing more than ragged clouds in her head, drifting away. She couldnt imagine what she would be like if the DEO didn’t have such a huge store of alien tech. If this was going to be goodbye forever, instead of for survival. 

Not that she’d really be able to see him ever again. Fact was very clear on Daxam — reclaimed, never returned. If he went, he would live, but he would be dead to her. They didn’t like Kryptonians, and right now, she didn’t blame them. She was at fault for this. 

Kara took Mon-El’s hand, pale and speckled with dark circles. Behind him, a thousand machines beeped away, slower each time. “Hey,” she said, softly. She wished she was still at home, writing that article. If she’d had a little backbone, they wouldn’t be here. This was all her fault. 

He stared up at her, and her heart broke a little more when his eyes focused off to the left of her face. He was going blind. “You’re going to save me, right? You’re a hero. Heroes save people.”

“I- Mon-El.” Her words fell away. English tasted like ash on her tongue. He wasn’t her people, but he was close enough. She could feel Krypton crumbling over her shoulders. He had lost everything. Mon-El was just like her. They had lost everything but each other, and she didn’t know how to work with that being gone. “No.”

“ _No?_ ” He surged up, and Alex pressed him back to the bed. He was weak enough for that, now. His hand in Kara's felt frighteningly human. J’onn watched from the corner, his face set in stone. She couldn’t read him, the way he couldn't read her mind. How long had it been since that conversation about his daughters? How long since she’d really spent time with him? “You have to, Kara. You can’t let me die.”

“You’ll see Rao again,” Kara whispered, and she could see in Alex’s eyes that she’d slipped into Kryptonian again. The ache in her voice was enough for them all to understand, regardless. Kara didn’t want to die, but she wanted more than anything to go home, for something to guide her back to Rao’s light. Who would lead her funeral rites when she was gone? “I’m sorry.”

His eyes were bloodshot, now. It was like before, when they were captured by Cadmus, but a thousand times worse. “If you were sorry, you’d save me.”

Kara had to remind herself that he was dying. That she couldn’t squeeze his hand tight as she wanted. That it was too late for that. That it was too late for everything. “I wish-“ she said, and then switched to english. “I’m sorry,” she said again, uselessly. “We’re going to freeze you. Winn thinks he can find remnants of people from your planet, but it’ll be a while before we can really make contact. They’ll be able to help you.”

Mon-El shook his head, his lips curling. Kara closed her eyes, and let go.

 

* * *

 

Kara stared at the iPad, unseeing. She was the only one who could properly translate all the documents from Fort Rozz, the star charts, the logs. Sure, they had a translation program, but there was always a possibility of missing a nuance. To save Mon-El, they couldn’t miss anything. 

But it was hard to concentrate when Kara had nobody to hold. And she’d survived to now without that, but having held it? Having known it? 

“Kara.”

Kara shook her head, not looking up. “I don’t want to talk, J’onn.”

He sat down beside her, a careful presence at her side. He didn’t touch her. “I can’t read your mind, but that doesn’t mean I can’t understand you, Kara.” He sighed, deeply. “I know you’re hurting. And I know what it’s like.”

Anyone else, she would have snapped at. But J’onn had gone through the same things, however longer ago. So Kara nodded, slightly, and leaned into him. J’onn wrapped his arms around her, careful of the iPad. Kara wavered, but gripped him back. 

His touch wasn’t feathers, like Alex, or as heavy as Mon-El had… had been, but substantial enough that Kara’s eyes overflowed. She clung to him, until it was long enough that she felt ready to stay upright on her own. 

J’onn watched her scroll slowly through a few more pages on the iPad before speaking again. “I don’t mean to sound like an overbearing parent, Kara, but Mon-El wasn’t good for you.”

Kara reeled back. “What? He- he loved me. I…”

J’onn didn’t force the contact again. Mon-El would have, by now. Kara took a deep breath. J’onn waited. “Kara, he manipulated you. Everything he did, everything he said."

Kara shook her head, barely realizing she was doing it. “He was helping me. I was helping him.”

“You were carrying him,” J’onn told her. He took the iPad from her hands, gently. Kara hadn’t realized her hands were shaking. “And you don’t deserve anything else weighing you down, Kara. I’m sorry for what you’re going through, but I need you to know that I will help you.”

“Help,” Kara said, flatly.

“We can fly. And you won’t need to carry me, or go anywhere far away. But you’ve spent enough time flying alone.”

When Kara looked at J’onn again, he was green. She took his hand, solid in hers. The DEO hummed around them, almost asleep in the night. It had been years since she’d flown for the sake of the sky. Maybe she should, again, even if she’d never reach Rao. “Maybe. Not today.”

“Only when you want,” J’onn promised. “I can wait.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to make very clear that the events of this story, Mon-El's treatment of Kara, is abuse. It is emotional abuse. It is not okay. It is not acceptable. His behaviour here, and on the show, is appalling. This story is an attempt to frame that in a more accurate light, instead of trying to pass it off as a hilarious cultural difference. If anyone in your life is treating you the way Mon-El treats Kara, please realize that it shouldn't be that way. You don't deserve it. 
> 
> The title isn't from anything, but it references the fact that Mon-El got poisoned in Flint, Michigan. Which still has lead in their water. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at writerproblem193 where my usual content veers more towards happy lesbians and Star Wars. Ficlet requests are open! Huge thanks to LMoriarty for fixing my five thousand typos. I love you. I'll choose you over Microsoft Word any day. I took liberties with canon with the whole Daxamites-picking-him-up thing, but listen, its fiction.


End file.
